In the wake of Tuesday's election results, I've found myself trying to put into words why I am so utterly devasted by the results. The attached tries to explain my feelings -- it is not pretty or hopeful and may seem over the top. But that's how I honestly feel. This is not a "what comes next" piece -- it is only a journal entry of how I feel right now. We will get through this -- it will not be easy -- but we will prevail. Time and the decency of civilized thought are on our side. I just feel like writing and thinking right now -- planning and responding comes later. So feel free to ignore this or share your thoughts and reactions. Best, Jared (jared_silverman@hotmail.com)
JOURNAL ENTRY:
Do you know what it feels like to be the victim of a political bashing? Do you know what it feels like to be vilified and pilloried for political gain? I do. Because I am gay and because I am an American. Yesterday, I got beaten and bashed and bloodied and bruised. By Georgia. By Ohio. By Michigan. By Arkansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Oregon, Oklahoma and Utah. And by a majority of the voters of this country generally.
I live with my partner in New York City, I work hard, pay my share of taxes and contribute in countless ways to this country and my community. I strive every single day to be a better, more sensitive and caring partner, a devoted uncle to two amazing little nieces, a supportive and loyal brother to my sister and brother-in-law, and a thankful and gracious son to my parents. My partner and I have many dear friends, straight and gay, all over this country and around the world. We seem to be well liked and accepted nearly everywhere we go, including in the south where we visit frequently. But apparently, in 2004, being gay in this country is license to pull me out of my quiet home, drag me into the alley of public opinion and beat me senseless -- for pure political gain.
On November 2d, the citizens of 11 states, by overwhelming majorities, voted to "secure" and "defend" the sacred institution of marriage. In doing so, they preserved the enduring institution of marriage as a privilege and benefit for only the majority. Some states went even further, voting to deny all benefits for anything even remotely resembling same-sex marriages, including civil unions and domestic partnerships. As I sit here today, I feel badly beat up, bloodied and bruised by my fellow citizens.
The blows were fast and furious on Tuesday night, coming from many different directions. The citizens of Georgia, where my partner grew up, went to school and where all of his family currently lives, delivered a blow to my stomach. That punch made me weary. The residents of Ohio, where I was raised, attended public schools, was named Student of the Year in 8th grade, played varsity sports and served as student government president in high school, gave me a ferocious left hook to the head in the form of Amendment 2. That one really hurt - it drew blood - because Ohio's clever amendment not only preserves the institution of marriage for straight people but also prohibits gay people from ever gaining any benefits associated with marriage. Then came the voters of Michigan, where I went to college, was elected president of my fraternity and where most of my extended family lives - the voters of Michigan punched me right in the gut. After that blow, I started coughing up blood. All told, it was a complete and utter repudiation by citizens from the states where my partner and I were born, raised and educated. It was a thorough bashing -- and a rejection of everything I learned from the very citizens I grew up with - that you should treat every person with dignity and respect.
After the 11th blow from citizens of 11 different states, I was doubled-over in agony. But the worst was yet to come. Even after the passage of these hurtful and blatantly discriminatory state amendments, I managed to rise to my feet, steady my legs and breathe slowly, only to realize that the knock-out punch had arrived. The knock-out punch came from the Electoral College where my fellow American citizens delivered an electoral victory to a man who, on a daily basis for nearly a year, has ridiculed and debased my very being with prize-fighter precision, telling everybody, from enormous public rallies to private gatherings, that I am "out of the mainstream" and "without values." As if I needed to be reminded on a daily basis by the leader of the free world that I am not in the majority.
It is now November 4th - two days after the assault. My body is bashed and broken. My vision is blurred - I cannot really recognize the America I live in. The punches came fast and furious from every direction. My head pounds and my heart aches. As I stagger out of the alley, back to my quiet home, my good job and my dear community, I wonder if the damage will be permanent. I wonder if my body can heal. I wonder if my spirit is broken. I honestly wonder whether I am not mentally scarred for a very long time from the assault. On Tuesday, this country delivered punch after punch after punch to its sons and daughters because we live honestly as who we are. Because we seek happiness and fulfillment in our lives through relationships and emotional ties with people we think are amazing and beautiful, and just happen to be of the same sex.
The President aided, abetted and encouraged the assault. He brought this fight to us. He dragged us from our homes and made us a punching bag. He unleashed the forces of fear, hatred and bigotry from the bully pulpit of the White House. He brought this fight purely for political gain, after being convinced by his advisers that his path to re-election was to "rally his base". And he proved that nothing rallies the base better in 2004 than a good ole fashioned gay bashing.
What sickens me most is that some of our closest friends and family were co-conspirators and witnesses to the assault, standing idly by and watching without saying a word or taking a stand. Many even voted for the President, either because they silently agree with his discriminatory, bigoted politics or because "there are other more important issues." Even my parents, who voted for the President, stood by and watched, seemingly unaffected, as I was beaten senseless and vilified for political gain. Apparently flip-flopping and lower taxes are more important issues to them than their son getting his heart and spirit bashed over and over again. To the President and his many supporters, and to the citizens of those 11 now "pure" states, I simply say this: You've had your public thrashing - You've got your pound of flesh. You bashed your way to control of the instruments of our federal government and control the future of our courts. And you have re-elected a divisive bigot. Now please leave us alone and give us time to heal in the comforting arms of our loving partners, supportive family and friends and courageous colleagues. That's one decent thing you can do.
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